i realli hate and i say hate today.. it sucks okie.. haix.. i was realli very happy that even though moi family is like thrash... i still have moi mummy wit me... who noes every single thing that happens to me... haix... sorry was moi mum had done.. i realli feel terrible.. very terrible.. i am realli very sorry BM.. i realli noe i cant reverse time back... but i am realli sorry.. it was moi fault.. that all this have to happen to u.. i mean.. i realli don wan u to suffer.. i realli wan to stay by ur side.. realli by ur side.. and go throught thick and think wit u.. i realli won leave u till u walk out of moi life.. this day is one of the... no no.. the worst day of moi life.. to see u cry again.. and again for three days.. it sucks dear.. i realli wan u to smile and smile and ya.. smile.. but things are not being the way i wan it to be.. so many things happen to u this year.. i understand... and ya.. i don wan to be a burden to u.. thats why till today.. i don force u to do anything... or be in a relationship.. i jus wan to make sure i show u moi love.. moi care and concern.. and ya.. u are well protected.. even though i scold u.. at times beat u cos of playfulness.. in moi heart i hope u noe how i feel for u inside.. i will never forgive moi mummy for wad she has done to u.. i mean haix.. i feel so terrible.. on moi way home.. i start crying again... and i couldnt take it.. i got down from 172... and walk near the cemetery... i realli couldnt take it. i was drenched when i got home.. the rain is so heavy.. haix.. i reali didnt mean to do this to u.. i realli didnt mean to fall in love wit u.. and u noe.. i have a very small heart.. haix.. now i am having fever... haix.... and i realli miss u alot.. i am ya.. bragging abt this shit over and over la.. but i don noe how to express it.. i very useless in expressing how i feel.. haix... i realli feel so many things happen to me.. ya i may be a coward to say tis shit out.. but i realli feel so terrible.. haix... i am realli on the verge of giving up moi stupid life.. don wanna live it anymore.. so screwed up.. at least if i am gone.. no one will be jealous... no one will disturb u.. but u noe.. u will always be watched from top... i mean... i clearly feel that the love i have for u... is so so so much different from wad i use to have for wei ting and geraldine.. haix.. jus don noe la.. i am so lost.. so so lost!!!! i jus wan u to smile. haix.. and be wit me........................................................................... as how we are now.....................

its 26th of Decemeber 2006.. well.. i am seventeen today.. but its not the kind of birthday i expect... hmmm.... the first person to wish me was Shir Leen online.. next was Norman on the phone... after that.. Its moi dad(he totally forget abt moi birthday... haix.. scolded me in the morning when i wanted to go temple.. told him it was moi birthday then he wished me... WAD A DAD!!) followed by Farook... moi childhood fren... moi family members jus not bothered abt it la.. haha.. wad to do..?? i jus shut up lor.. moi mother is not on talking terms wit me.. and she is home now.. yet to wish me.. forget it.. she never will.... anyway... going out to meet mummy later.. not feeling the best of moods today.. well... haha... Time has changed.. guess i need to move on and not think of moi past birthdays.. haha.. thats history.. thats abt it la... gtg.. happy birthday To Moiself!!!!

hmmm.. MERRY cHRISTmaS gUYS.. Haha... yst was so fun yet so sad.. hmmm... firstly.. mummy me and fifi meet in the morning to watch NArnia.. $$$$9.50.... so ex... golden village sucks lor.. rise up the price so much.. but fuck it la... the movie is realli a nice movie to watch... even the start was a little draggy.. the body of the movie is cool..... nice graphics... the Saggitaurus in the movie is real cool... haha.. and ya.. THE LIOn is awesome... haha.. so huge.. and so furry... haha..

next we went to eat DUmpling noodles at Lai laI kitchen and a gu who was sittting in front of me.. ate up two plates of noodles even before i finish moi one plate.. think long long he no eat.. hee hee hee.. then we head to bugis... we went to shop for Xing yi's birthday present.... such a lucky girl she is.. birthday falls on X mas.... bought her this makeup set from sasa...

then we head to didi'd shop where we were going to celebrate X mas in the evening.. but we reach there like four... haha.. then i went off to training... soccer training is jus so tiring yet enjoying... then i head back to bugis... well feeling very hungry..

haha... PARTY didnt start b4 i was there.. lol... hee hee.. Gift Xchange soon took place....
UNcle got: G string From mummy..
DIDi got: Liquour chocolate from her cousin
FIFi got: Key chain from Uncle
MUmmy Got: COndoM Piggybank From ME
I got: Underwear from FIFI

haha... funny la.. then we eat all the junk food... and sushi.. and we played dares.. and our dear fifi was not sporty at all.. bla bla bla.. haha.. then we head to orchard.. i was still feeling hungry....

orchard.. was so packed wt blangas and chinese ah pei.. CB kias... haha.. but jus celebrate la.. bought sprays and sprayed at ppl.. end uup get banged up four five ppl at once... as once get sprayed by them.. but all the while i was holding mummy tightly..there was once.. one fucked up asshole followed us and suddenly she sprayed on mummy so much.. that we covered herself and went to the floor.. i fucking dulan.. he almost touched her.. omFG!!! naturally.. it came out.. in chinese:"KNN.. U BETTER DON TOUCH HER HOR"... oh well... haha.. fifi say i shouted very loudly..

then shit.. worst part we got stuck in a crowd and the paper bag i was holding onto which consist of xing yi's present... the condom piggy bank and mummy's new lipstick tore and ya.. all dropped.. very disappointed wit moiself.. and ya.. i was like stepping onto mummy's feet quite alot of times.. haix. sorry mummy.. i jus wanted her to be safe... haix... fifi was almost molested by blangas.. sucks.. then we finally get to move out of that fuck up crowd crossed over.. and went to bugis.. haha. this time to take train back home.. on the MRT... i showed mummy wad i was wanting to do and had done for her on X'mas.. well... she liked it i suppose... but she said she expected it.. oh well.. no fun... then come home.. bath.. felt so fresh..

and talked on the fone and went to sleep.. haha... i am still so happy abt the gift mummy gave me on X mas.. haha... towel wit a few things sew on it.. love it to bits.. thanks mummy.. oh well.. u haven seen urs.. maybe u wouldnt have expect it.. but the gift i realli wan to buy for u.. the last time u saw it.. u regret u didnt have it.. haha... now u have it.. i hope u are happy. i mean.. i realli don wan u to regret in life.. i jus wan u to smile and stay happy...

TMR moi birthday.. jus a another day of a year la hor.. gtg.. CIaozzz.... MERrY Christmas PPL!!!

hmmm.. well.. its another day of sadness for me at heart until.. oh well.. i meet mummy.. lol.. these few days i realli cant sleep... and i tend to wake up very early in the mornings.. for like the past three days... hmmm... moi mummy is always nagging me after the letter from NP came..

And i finally after three days..opened moi mouth and argued wit her.. and u noe.. well.. i get KP by her more than ever.. very heart breaking.. but yet i have to live wit it.. the words are still ringing in moi head.. sucks.. why am i like this..?? words that are told to me are often remembered more well than any other thing that one do to me.. oh.. haix..

hmmm.. moving on.. well.. i went to the temple today.. after some time.. i prayed in a temple... and tears jus came... tears are jus moi best fren.. almost get to be wit it everyday.. then.. went to wait for mummy from like 0920 plus when i was supposed to meet her at 1130.. waiting for her.. never seem to get me on moi nerves.. hahah.. then went to jurong east library to study C programming.. and AEL.. end up only study C programming.. haha.. was raTHER distracted by a few things at mind.. haha..

then meet fifi.. she was so sad.. she broke up wit her stead.. but u see.. wad goes around comes around.. but wait.. its not true u noe.. i treat moi exs good.. but why end up they have no feelings for me in the end then break..?? sucks.. haha.. but life goes on la... wadever it is.. move on wit a smile even thought heart is so heavy.. tend to hide all moi sadness and start crapping.. make everyone luff.. hee hee.. thats me la.. lol.. mysterious?? no la.. hee hee.. jus a normal person..

hmm... four days to X mas... can SAntA bring me PEace at heart as A gift..??? and ya.. moi birthday is like coming in five days time.. but i don seem to be interested.. or wan to celebrate it la.. its jus a normal day.. hopefully i don get nag by anyone on that day.. jus wan to have peace at heart la.. and get to see u and spend time wit u on that day..

anyway.. MAn U won the Quarter finals against brimingham.. finally PArk scored his first goal in his career for MAN u.. happy for him.. thats abt it.. hope mummy is doing alright working at didi's shop.... ciaoZZ la Ciaoxx LA!!!! haix..!!!

so... hmmm... its tuesday.. and for two weeks.. i don need to go back to school. haha.. so happy.. yet so sad... haix.. nvm.. anyway i got this letter from NP saying i didnt attend lessons.. sucks man.. haha.. mum and dad was rather angry.. but oh well.. haha.. moi hp is not wit me at the moment due to some problems faced by it... think it will be back to me soon.. haha.. oh ya.. i was so troubled that i didnt submit moi infrormational report online which means i will get O for it.. but i mailed moi lecturer and told her how i feel and she opened that link again for me.. oh well.. thanks MA'am.. haha.. kinda bored at home... but i am slowly studying.. hopefully to pass all the modules in the common test.. lol.. hee hee..kinda feel different without moi hp la.. hard to contact ppl.. and very inconvinent.. hmmm..

oh well.. X mas is coming.. haha.. alot of ppl asking me to be free on the 23rd and 24th.. lol.. but guess wad.. i already have plans i think... lol.. and On X mas i have a sister, XIng yi birthday coming up.. haha.. and ya.. on 26th.. its jamie's birthday.. oh man.. presents on the hunt.. haha..

anyway.. these few days.. i am not sleeping well enuff.. even now i have pain on the inside of the eyeball... guess not enuff sleep then inside red.. but too bad.. cant sleep.. wad u wan me to do..??

haha.. anyway.. guess iam going out to meet Mummy later.. haha. so happy.. like see her... the feelings even if sad.. will turn out to be happy.. haha.. she jus sprarks moi life.. ciaoZZ!!! miss U mummY!!!

haha.. well.. after a few days i blogging.. haha.. well.. yst sucked la.. i didnt had mood since morning.. sian lor.. arghh... lol.. then didnt talk much.. then don care wad lecturer teach... screwed la... mummy was also quiet.. due to the reason I THINK TOO MUCH!!! haha.. but there were a few things that taught me... a girl will realli be hurt inside not when u beat or hit her.. but when u hit urself or u get hurt till u are injured.. swelled and bleeding.. oh well.. hmmm.. today jus normal day la.. but i went for AEL practical for first time.. haha.. power sia.. i made a few frens which were already mummy's frens.. haha.. rashid.. haisal... emaan..haha.. don noe how to spell their name.. but they are funny and ya helpful.. haha... and i fren send me something that is actually true abt me.. i am a december baby.. so

these are moi characters:
Loyal and generous. sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and >hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention but don ask for it. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending...

i had one fren of mummy who told her.. actually i have nice ears.. haha.. and the way i sleep got style one.. haha.. thanks COCk cocK!!! lol.. CiaoZZZ

where to start..?? i guess i am not a daily bloggger. cos.. i realli don wan to blog everyday.. sure others read also sian sian.. hmm.. must few days once.. haha.. anyway.. shall start from Yst..

Hmm.. well.. it didnt start well la... cos i had to attend funeral.. dots.. well.. it was moi mother's far distant sister.. but no one in moi family was free to attend it.. then push it to me lor.. well.. attend lor.. then meet BM and FIFi to orchard.. was rather late meeting them... go orchard i rather felt lonely.. hmmm.. maybe the both of them were realli shopping.. then i felt hungry.. went to eat chicken rice alone at the FAr east Plaza.. it is always a prefect ten for me if u ask me judge that chicken rice.. haha..

then meet them again.. walk walk walk.. both of them were realli on the hunt for heels.. hmmm.. couldnt find it.. then.. go bugis lor.. haha.. hunt hunt.. then i so happy.. i got to see a few of moi frens.. haha.. firstly.. i saw PEi jun (dA jie Da).. haha.. then saw moi well loved brother Sufyan wit Shi hui.. haha.. hmmm.. then saw Shit ting.. lol... well.. haha.. guess many ppl noe me when i was in secondary school.. ACtive DinesH?? haha.. rather..

then go Didi SHOp.. StaPLe weaR now looks MOre Decorated and well orientated.. and ya.. it has the force to attract customers..hee hee.. then went to eat BAn mian At Praco Junction.. end up sharing tables wit a indian family.. haha.. mummy and i.. the feeling was rather different la.. not sure why.. hee hee..

then went back to didi shop.. and ya.. one Son Of A u noe WAd had his paper bag rub against mummy's wound and it actually bleed alot.. she was so in pain. i got scolded.. haix.. sorry.. if i noe.. i wouldnt have let it happen.. she even had tears in her eyes.. haix.. to see it drip.. its worse than having blood from moi throat to drip.. the feeling so screwed.. but after a while she was okie.. then i went back home alone la. cos.. Fifi daddy send Bm home.. haha.. good dad fif has..

Today morning woke up and told moiself.. "DINESH.. UR hair IS like A bush.. wadever bush u can think of.. go Get it cut".. and ya. i got it cut.. now i feel more confident.. haha.. the hair style is rather nice la.. same style.. but neater and "cooler".. and fuck.. i jus twisted moi ankle.. it is a little swelled.. but i think i can do fine.. TMR S and W a bit more careful lor.. haha.. WIsh Weeks can pass and BUnny Mummy injury can be better..

liVE Life FAst and enjoy every single second of ur LIfe.. cos U will Nv noe.. when u will lose something or U will be iN gOd's HAndS... Mummy.. WHen are U going back home..?? i miss U!!!... ciaoZZ!!!

well.. i am kinda tired.. haha.. woke up at seven... exhausted la.. but not many ppl noe.. cos it was still the same old lame old cheerful me to everyone.. haha.. kinda sad.. MAN U didnt win.. haha.. but a CHAMPION will always be a champion.. haha.. never will ppl forget it.. haha

hmmm.. MUmmy's injury is slowly recovering.. wish two weeks can pass faster.. cos by the time... the wound will be better.. she is in alot of pain.. haix.. hmm.. haha... well.. she is strong la..

KInda enjoed today.. well.. jus enjoyed it la.. don ask why.. i no money.. haha.. well.. hope i can have a money tree.. no money can pluck. lol.. gtg le.. ciaoxx!!

Well.. another boring day at school… started at nine and end at five.. well.. it is terrible to have lessons this long almost everyday.. haix.. but.. nothing I can do.. hmm..

After the lesson.. ME.. bunny mummy.. Norman.. and wei ling went to see SAW II at westmall.. haha.. well.. its totally atrocious… eeek.. haha.. a lot of blood.. can see brain.. got bullet go through the eye come out from the back of the head.. well.. one word to describe the movie.. well.. hmm… sadistic la.. haha.. no one on the right side of mind will wan to get killed or die the ways ppl were murdered.. hmmm..

Wei ling was shivering seeing the movie.. oh well.. guess she was too disgusted.. haha.. accidentally hit Mummy’s wounds… felt very guilty.. cos.. u one look u can feel it is painful then I hit.. wha. She auto scream.. haix.. SORRY MUMMY!!!! Hmm..

Then went to burger king to to eat dinner.. haha.. SSHHH.. don tell moi parents.. but first time in moi life.. haha.. I ate beef.. haha.. get feed by u.. haha. Oh well.. nv will I say no.. haha.. then eat lor.. hee hee.. okie la.. it tasted like nice la.. I guess that’s abt it

MANCHESTER UNTIED TODAY HAVE TO WIN TO GET INTO THE TOP SIXTEEN IN CHAMPIONS LEAGUE TODAY!!! HOPE EVERYONE READIN IT WILL PRAY FOR ME!!! I WAN THEM TO WIN!!! HAHA!!! CiaoXxX!!!

alright.. i haven blog for some time but ya.. hmmm.. nvm.. nowadays.. i am kinda broke very often.. arghh.. the feeling realli sucks alot. hmm.. but nvm.. as long as u have money and u smile i don mind.. but ya.. i have so many things i wanna buy for u yet the $$ is not there.. haix.. i realli wan u to wear that JACket.. fuck man.. saw a gal wear the jacket today.. moi heart totally broken.. was rather down after seeing it.. hmmm.. then also had head ache after that.. but now it seems fine.

After a few days.. i realli sat down and pray hard.. inside out.. and i had tears in moi eyes.. haha.. why..?? i don noe.. but i noe i realli wan u to smile all the time.. haha.. BM had a fall yst.. the wounds are realli very big.. haix.. that clusmy guy.. was very angry.. but kena scold and scold.. then didnt mind le.. hmmm.. guess i am jus too sensitive.. to see wounds on U.. haha...

THe weekends were rather fun ya.. to work in Didi shop and ya.. to spend the whole day wit BM.. kinda nice la.. hmm.. was rather to mAc and Pizza HUt by DIdi mother for dinner on the both days.. well.. haha.. thanks Auntie.. Didi mother also touched moi Butt thrice for GOD NOES WHY reason.. haha.. but she is a good person.. well..

Yst went to watch Chicken Little.. hmmm.. that funny.. haha.. damn cute.. i like the BAby alien.. haha.. his hair looks like mine.. haha.. Chicken little is jus so nice and the dance is so so funny.. lol.. hee hee.. tmr.. going to watch SAW II.. haha.. hmmm.. kinda miss A few ppl.. haha..

I miss MOi MB.. hmm.. even though i jus saw u hours ago.. i miss u.. hmm... i miss MOi sister Anne.. hmm.. few days didnt talk to her.. i miss WEi ting.. that backside went malaysia and hasnt come back.. haha.. hmm.. thats abt it..